Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Little Switches That Can Make a Difference

Relationships can be strained. Once you get comfortable with someone and realize that they love you, some people (myself included) think that it just doesn't really matter to make an effort anymore.

I was super guilty of this with Annabella's father, I forgot that I was a woman, I forgot that we once dated, I forgot that he fell in love with a beautiful person and while I know that most of that was my inner beauty,  I also know that most relationships have to do with ascetic beauty as well.

So right now while I'm waiting to return to California and the family that Annabella and I are returning to , I have been making some small switches in my life that I can bring with me out there so that R and I can fix this and keep on being the people that we were when we met. Instead of going back to being stale.

Here are some suggestions for you!

  • Do your hair, okay I'm not saying curl, straighten or put rollers in it. But if you have long hair; let it loose every once in a while, hair is one of a women's best qualities and its sexy to see her let it down. If you have short hair, try updating it with a cut or some hair wax to give it a beachy look.
  • Go out: R and I were terrible at this after we had Bella, really I think it was more me, I didn't want to leave her, I was afraid something would happen and I wouldn't be there, now that she is older we are going to start trying to go out once a week. We have lots of friends in the area that are also parents and now that PPD isn't controlling my life, I'm looking forward to date nights again
  • Cuddle: This sounds simple but really between cooking diner, cleaning the house, putting my daughter to bed and then trying to crochet or knit or sew when she was sleeping, really cut into our cuddle time. I'm going to try to just spend time with R now time that is just for us while the little one is sleeping (one great reason that I don't sleeper anymore)
  • Go Outside: fresh air is good for you, its good for your kids, its good for your soul. It helps everything just clear away. Enjoying the beauty of the outdoors together really puts a new spin on things, I think its important to enjoy the beauty of outside with the person that you love this way you don't just hang out in the same place all the time. 
  • Surprises: I like to plan special surprises for R when he is coming home from a long weekend, it could be his favorite micro brew or some Beef Bourboinon on a rainy afternoon when it just feels good to be warm inside. It really shows that you think of that person during your day.
  • Adventures: I'm going to try to take a family weekend trip once a month, whether its camping or fishing, or just to a local hotel to swim in the pool, going on adventures and trips really puts some spark back into the relationship
I think that these small changes really help keep things fresh and new in a relationship. When things get old, they get boring and when they get boring we try to find other ways to get excitement all to often that comes in the form of fighting. I'm looking forward to sparking this relationship back up in a few months and I'm pretty sure that with these simple switches we'll be better then ever.

How do you switch it up in your relationship?

I wrote this blog post while participating in the SocialMoms and Cottonelle blogging program, for a gift card worth $25. For more information on how you can participate, click here.

1 comment:

  1. Mommypants, This is such a touching post. I'm glad you are trying to make things work with R. I've learned that whatever we once were..when they fell in what we still need to be..or need to get back to.

    My hubby will never be MR. Romantic. He was attracted to me because I was a 'giver'. I gave him attention, admiration, and affection. After 23 yrs. of homeschooling and five teenagers...things had gotten strained..and perfunctory. Last summer, I decided to quit wishing Hubby would be what he never was..the initiator..the romantic. He's the scientist type. He needs encouragement..attention. Yes, I'd love for him to make the first step, but it's just never been his way.

    So I started doing a bunch of giving..and guess what..he gave right back. We are closer now than ever. But I have to accept that he is what he is..and he wants me to be what I was..

    I'm a cheerleader. He didn't care about my looks, he cared about how I treated him. He was the center of my world. I needed to make him that again. It revitalized our marriage.

    This is a very good post.

    Still praying for you and thinking of you.

    Donna @ Comin' Home