Taking it easy.... Mornings without a toddler

My aunt is watching Annabella for me today, so last night she slept over.

I'm not one of those moms who likes spending time away from my kid, sure I send her to daycare while I'm at work and I'll let my mom or whoever is around play with her while I blog or surf the computer for things to do. But when it comes to waking up in the morning without her, it makes me miss her.

I know, "everybody needs a break" to sleep, to do not so mom things. But the way I see it is now that I'm a mom, nothing I do isn't a "mom" thing. 

Take last Saturday for example, a great night with some amazing people that I hadn't seen or partied with in years, it was to be a great night complete with a Keg and some rather tasty aged single barrel aged whiskey to be shared among friends. But I din't get shwilly, I stayed till about midnight and then took the hour long drive home in the fog so that I could be sure that Annabella woke up to her easter basket. I even woke up at six a.m. so that I could watch her do it. But today I find myself wondering if maybe she could have waited till the afternoon and I could have hung out with my friends a bit longer and just stayed the night.

Its hard for me to find the old Mallory in the new Mom role, all of me has changed, my views on the world are a bit different, and I'm nowhere near as relaxed as I used to be. My constant feeling of anxiety over what I'm doing and how its affecting our lives hasn't gone away totally and I know it probably never will. I find myself searching on the internet trying to find answers to the amount of nights its acceptable for a mom to go out and leave her kid. Even though I know there isn't a correct answer for these questions I still find myself trying to find the right one.

So back to my toddler-free mornings, are they really any easier without her?  I still wake up at 7am, I do enjoy the entire night full of sleep, rather then waking up a few times a night to Annabella kicking me in the side or yelling at me because she wants to play at 3am, but I don't get the smiles or the wake-up kisses. I don't have to make breakfast, but I still have to make my lunch, I don't have to rush around with her, but I have a hard time getting the motivation to get out of bed,  (yes I am blogging in bed right now)

So mama's out there, how do you deal with days without your kiddos? What do you do? How has your life changed since becoming a mom?

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Happy Easter

Here's to hoping that you and your family have a blessed and happy Easter

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I survived

Well I survived

I did it

The dentist didn't kill me

although I'm not sure I feel stronger after this either

I cried, I sobbed, I poured sweat like I had just run a mile dash.

But I made it through, no Novocaine, no needle, just the drill and my teeth.

And the whole crew was there, the lady even gave me a teddy bear.. yep a teddy bear, talk about feeling like a little kid, She held my hand while the dentist drilled and I got through it. Barely, soon as they were done I was OUT of that chair and ready to go.

Phew glad I got that over, in other news I will be cutting most sugar from my diet so I can avoid any other appointments other then cleaning, I know I need to do more then that but the only good thing that comes out of this dentist visit is my obsession over my daughter's dental hygiene.

Dealing with Dental Anxiety

I'm afraid of the dentist

Seriously, deathly, ridiculously scared.

Why?

I don't really know... it could me my crappy teeth, or the seizure I had from an anxiety attack when they gave me Novocaine. It could be that chair, it could be anything.

All I know is that as soon as I'm faced with a cavity or Novocaine, or any drilling, I panic, to the point where I am crying and sobbing worse then my 18month old daughter when I tell her no more chocolate.

I still haven't found a way to deal with this, some dentists are kind and will give me an anti-anxiety medicine. Others are not. I guess maybe its the other dentists that I'm afraid of the ones that insist that it doesn't hurt and that I'm ridiculous.

It bothers me when people don't understand my fears, its not something that I want to be afraid of. Its not like I think 'hey I really hate the dentist' I try to go in optimistically and think that its going to be okay, but my fear takes over. And I'm a heap of tears on the dentist chair while the poor man has to try to reach in my mouth and try to ignore my sobs and screams.

I feel terrible for the children that have to be in the waiting room while I'm in the back

Any of you out there afraid?

How do you deal with you or your kid's fear of the dentist?

I'd love some insight 

Just smiles 

Green your Office

I work in an office; so needless to say I see a lot of paper get wasted, and when I say a lot I mean a ton. Honestly sometimes I shiver at the thought of how much waste comes out of an office. The place I work at makes a very good effort to be as green as possible. I give them a lot of credit especially because I know from experience that most offices don't give a damn about how much waste they create.

When I was introduced to the new post-it line of greener products, I was ecstatic to hear that someone in the office supply industry was putting in an effort to help keep the earth clean.

Post-it has a new line of sustainable products that are not only made from recycled paper, but many have a plant based adhesive. Of course they still come in all the bright and vibrant colors that post-it is known for (good thing because I have gotten pretty accustomed to the bring pieces of paper reminding me which files need to go where)

So today for earth day do yourself, and the earth a favor and grab some post-it greener products for your office. I know that the earth will appreciate it if you do! Grab some greener notes, some super sticky recycled notes,  a recycled easel pad, or some return labels! If you're lucky enough to have one of the Post-it Pop up dispensers that I talked about here, they also have recycled super sticky pop-up notes to fit right in the dispenser!

Giveaway!

The folks over at Post-it are nice enough to give away two packs of post-it greener notes to one lucky Mommypants reader! To enter just be a follower and tell me how you stayed green this earth day! I'll pick one winner on May 22, 2011 on random.org

Good luck!

Winning!!

So the other night one of my best friends came into town.

W is the kind of friend who had my back when nobody else did, let me into his home, and helped me gain back the confidence I needed to get my life back on track.

Naturally, I was super excited when I found out he was coming out for a visit!

And what did we do?

Why, we saw Mr Charlie Sheen at  MGM Grand at Foxwoods Casino

What an amazing night we had, Charlie Sheen was everything that I expected (okay so maybe that doesn't include hilarious, but it was pretty amusing to watch him rock out on an electric guitar for the opening)

He did go on a short tyrant about his ex-wife but luckily

Jeffery Ross came in and saved the day

Jeffery roasted Charlie Sheen and as he does in most of his roasts, had the audience in tears (well we thought it was great)

He also read a letter from Micheal Moore about Charlie Sheen and to be honest with you I was pretty impressed with what he had to say.

Anyways, if he's in town and you can get tickets for half price, its worth it, although I don't think I would be paying top price for them. I really enjoyed my time.

Of course, W and I could have a good time at the bottom of a well

In Honor of Earth Day

Check out this preview for a new Comedy Central Series which you can watch online!
This first episode is great, complete with hippies!

http://www.atom.com/channel/channel_e_commando

Getting Fresh, with Freschetta Pizza

This post brought to you by FRESCHETTA®. All opinions are 100% mine.

Pizza, its one of my favorite things to eat. 

So when Freschetta asked me to try out their newest FRESCHETTA® By the Slice pizza slices. I was more then happy to oblige!

FRESCHETTA® By the Slice is a slice of pizza boxed up and ready for you to eat, its convenient if you have teenagers who waste entire pizzas, they can heat up just one slice and there is no waste... well I should say no food waste. My biggest problem with FRESCHETTA® By the Slice  is that it comes in a huge box about 3/4 the size of a regular pizza box, so it not only takes up lots of room in the refrigerator, but the entire box gets thrown away creating lots of waste, I'm all about having a single slice of pizza rather then the whole pie but I would much prefer if it came a few in a box rather then just one slice in a big pizza box.

The toppings were great, I really enjoyed all the different cheeses on the Six Cheese Medley 

The six cheeses complimented each other and the sauce wonderfully. I really liked how the sauce didn't taste super acidic like most frozen pizzas tend to. I wish that they would have had more variety at my store FRESCHETTA® By the Slice also comes in BBQ Recipe Chicken, Vegetable Medley, and Spinach, Chicken, Mushroom. All of these sound like really yummy choices. 

The crust on the pizza is also great, its crispy but not so flat that you feel like your pizza is on a cracker, I liked that it didn't get burnt on the bottom when I baked it in the oven, I sometimes have a problem with this with some frozen pizzas.

My only other problem with these pizzas is that they contain Hydrogenated oils, which is a big no no in my house. 

To find out more about FRESCHETTA® By the Slice you can follow Freschetta on twitter at @Freschetta Pizza. Or check them out on Facebook here http://www.facebook.com/freschettapizza

 

WIN!

Freschetta Pizza has agreed to give one MOMMYPANTS! reader their own free coupon of  FRESCHETTA® By the Slice  as well as a set of six Frecshetta Tupperware! (three containers with lids)

To qualify to win, you must first be a follower of MOMMYPANTS

Then leave me a comment on this post letting me know which toppings you love on pizza!

I will pick one winner on May 13th 2011. So all comments must be made before May 12th 2011.

Good luck and Thanks for reading!

A multicoastal mama

::sigh::

Thats how I feel today

I am missing my home in Cali, and although plans to go home are in the works..

I'm finding it really hard to chill out and enjoy my time here...

CONFESSION!!

I hate being a single mom

Its true, at first I thought I  would be able to handle this... a job, daycare, I didn't think I would mind living with my entire family.

Don't get me wrong I love them to death, they are wonderful and I wish that California and Connecticut were a lot closer so that we could spend our time equally between both places... but its not

TRUTH
I miss my daughter's father, I miss California, I hate the ignorance that the east coast has about health and alternative medicines

.

I have been packing and unpacking, the pile of things to throw out greatly overshadows the few things that I have decided are important enough to come with us on our 3,000 mile trip.

I'm excited and nervous about making that hike across the good 'ol USA alone with my daughter, on one hand I LOVE to travel, I love being in a car driving on the open road and this time I'll have enough money to do it the right way which will include some hotel stays (yaay!) Much different from the days where I held a sign at a truck stop. On the other hand I know all too well the 'bumps'  (no pun intended) that can come up along the road. From flat tires, to the price of gas and of course the bathroom breaks in gross truck stop bathrooms toddler in tow. 

But still I'm excited, I really can't wait to get on the road and feel that wonderful feeling of seeing the differences in states, people, small towns and big cites. I'll be taking a picture of my littlest one in every state and hopefully creating a scrapbook of her first cross country road trip. (I'm a horrible scrap-booker, I'll be honest it will more likely just be a photo album with a few captions)

I bought a Roof Bag, and I'm anxiously awaiting hoisting it on top of my little Honda and filling it with our most necessary items. I've decided which clothes I'll need till I leave and everything else is already packed.  I'm free-cycling for luggage and duffel bags and I've spent hours researching my trip. (Those damn tolls are really throwing off my idea of taking I-80 the whole way)

Lucky for you readers, I'm going to try to blog about our adventures along the way, and I'm sure there will be a great review of the Roof Bag I've never used something like this before, but it seems easy enough so I'm confident that I'll be able to use it.. I read one review from someone who used it with a Honda so I'm confident that it will work great for us!

I know, I know, I am getting lots of remarks about going back too soon, or leaving everything to start from scratch again. But I owe it to my daughter and to her father and to myself to give this one more try. I haven't stopped thinking about our family since the day that I left and I don't think the feeling would have gone away with time. 

I feel such a sense of relief going home (well where my home is now) and I just can't stop relating to this song by Edward Sharp and the Magnetic Zeros. I also LOVE how Bohemian they are, I'm crossing my fingers I'll be back in California in time to see them play in Santa Rosa on June 11th.

Well as always love you all and thanks for reading! 

I'll be hopefully updating more so sorry about my hiatus from the blogging world, I think I'm back for real this time

Little Switches That Can Make a Difference

Relationships can be strained. Once you get comfortable with someone and realize that they love you, some people (myself included) think that it just doesn't really matter to make an effort anymore.

I was super guilty of this with Annabella's father, I forgot that I was a woman, I forgot that we once dated, I forgot that he fell in love with a beautiful person and while I know that most of that was my inner beauty,  I also know that most relationships have to do with ascetic beauty as well.

So right now while I'm waiting to return to California and the family that Annabella and I are returning to , I have been making some small switches in my life that I can bring with me out there so that R and I can fix this and keep on being the people that we were when we met. Instead of going back to being stale.

Here are some suggestions for you!

• Do your hair, okay I'm not saying curl, straighten or put rollers in it. But if you have long hair; let it loose every once in a while, hair is one of a women's best qualities and its sexy to see her let it down. If you have short hair, try updating it with a cut or some hair wax to give it a beachy look.
• Go out: R and I were terrible at this after we had Bella, really I think it was more me, I didn't want to leave her, I was afraid something would happen and I wouldn't be there, now that she is older we are going to start trying to go out once a week. We have lots of friends in the area that are also parents and now that PPD isn't controlling my life, I'm looking forward to date nights again
• Cuddle: This sounds simple but really between cooking diner, cleaning the house, putting my daughter to bed and then trying to crochet or knit or sew when she was sleeping, really cut into our cuddle time. I'm going to try to just spend time with R now time that is just for us while the little one is sleeping (one great reason that I don't sleeper anymore)
• Go Outside: fresh air is good for you, its good for your kids, its good for your soul. It helps everything just clear away. Enjoying the beauty of the outdoors together really puts a new spin on things, I think its important to enjoy the beauty of outside with the person that you love this way you don't just hang out in the same place all the time. 
• Surprises: I like to plan special surprises for R when he is coming home from a long weekend, it could be his favorite micro brew or some Beef Bourboinon on a rainy afternoon when it just feels good to be warm inside. It really shows that you think of that person during your day.
• Adventures: I'm going to try to take a family weekend trip once a month, whether its camping or fishing, or just to a local hotel to swim in the pool, going on adventures and trips really puts some spark back into the relationship

I think that these small changes really help keep things fresh and new in a relationship. When things get old, they get boring and when they get boring we try to find other ways to get excitement all to often that comes in the form of fighting. I'm looking forward to sparking this relationship back up in a few months and I'm pretty sure that with these simple switches we'll be better then ever.

How do you switch it up in your relationship?

I wrote this blog post while participating in the SocialMoms and Cottonelle blogging program, for a gift card worth $25. For more information on how you can participate, click here.

Peep it up!!

Peeps, not only are they fun to say, but they are fun to eat.

I just love all the fun that I have with them every year around easter.

And I even eat them secretly when its not easter ( c'mon there is a reason that they make those trees!)

I've had so many great times eating peeps, I used to love finding them hidden in my easter basket on Easter morning. This year I plan to put them inside the plastic eggs so that Annabella can enjoy opening each one. I'm thinking that this will provide hours of entertainment when it comes to easter morning. Plus it should be tons of fun stuffing those marshmallows into the eggs (and eating the ones that 'ahem' don't work out)

As I've gotten older I've found some other uses for peeps, of course I think all of us have put them inside a microwave and watched the small chick grow to a chicken and then explode (sorry for the mess mom)

I also like to make large s'mores with peeps, they are festive and you can make about two s'mores from one peep. Have you ever roasted a peep on the fire? Well let me tell you if you haven't you've been missing out,  the sugar on the outside caramelizes and its always fun when they light on fire. (sorry little guys)

I have been thinking this year of making a wreath for easter made of peeps, I think that with some shellac and some time it could be a great addition to my easter decor. I worry that it may mold or something, but I'm sure that if I cover the surface with the shellac it should work fine. Please if you have tried this let me know. I will share the results when I make it.

How do you eat your peeps? Me I eat the tip of the beak first and then the little tail and then move onto the rest of the peep. It usually doesn't take very long for me to finish.

What a better way to inspire fun, then with an easter version of  'fluffy bunny' who can fit the most peeps in their mouth and still say 'fluffy bunny' (caution, please don't over stuff, please watch young children, marshmallows melt and we don't want any choking on easter)

I  hope that you can get some great ideas for Peeps with this post,  they are adorable and tasty so therefore they meet my standards of awesome. What do you do with your peeps?  

I wrote this blog post while participating in the SocialMoms and PEEPS blogging contest, for a chance to get a gift card worth $50. For more information on how you can participate, click here.

Keep Track of your Cash... pocketsmith

This post brought to you by PocketSmith Manager. All opinions are 100% mine.

Do you have a hard time keeping track of how much cash you have?

Do you need help budgeting your cash?

Do you want to make goals with your money and clearly see them happening or know what steps to take next?

If these sound like you (and clearly everybody needs some help with these)

Then check out PocketSmith Manager its a web based calendar that is made to help you do just that and so much more. Managing money can be hard, especially as a single mom. It can be hard to be sure that you are budgeting in the right way and it can be hard to see your goals come into play.

With PocketSmith Manager I can easily track where my money is going and where it needs to go. Instead of spending hours in front of my books I can spend a few minutes updating my account on the computer and see the results right there in front of me!

PocketSmith Manager is a secure program so you're information is safe. I also love how PocketSmith Manager offers a free subscription plan! Its a great way to see all that they offer without spending a bunch of money on an account that may not suit your needs!

So with a free offer and a chance to get all those dollars in order; check out PocketSmith Manager

"On the Wings of Self Esteem"

So about a month ago I was sent the book "On the Wings of Self Esteem" written by Doctor Louise Hart. Coincidently (or maybe not so coincidently) around the same time I was told that I should read some 'self-help' books

I never had really been into reading self-help books I thought of them as ways that people use to get you to buy their products and services and I really never thought that I would get anything out of them.

But after receiving this advice from someone I respected I decided to give it a try, I decided that receiving this book around the same time that I received this advice that I should start with "On the Wings of Self-Esteem" since it had literally arrived on my doorstep unexpectedly.

The first few pages of the book were a bit difficult to get into . It was very metaphoric and I found it a bit hard to relate my life to that of a butterfly or caterpillar.... I guess that was part of my problem.

Upon reading the rest of the book, I have found advice that is relate-able to the rest of my life. Its easy to understand where the author is coming from because she uses examples that are easy to compare with my own life. I think that lots of us get our problems from the same places they are just different. The author uses examples from peoples lives to show how we relate things in our own lives.

The second part of this book that I found so great were all the exercises that Doctor Hart uses to really help readers get to the root of the problem. They are great because she encourages you to write them out. I have found that in my life and in my healing that writing always works better then thinking for me. Its good to see it all on paper. It makes it easier for me to understand then when its jumbled up with all the thoughts going on in my head most of the time.

I have found that reading a chapter from "On the Wings of Self-Esteem" each night has really helped me to relax and get in tune with myself. I really enjoy the exercises even if sometimes they are thought provoking and hard to do, I know that thats just me working through my problems.

I recommend This book for anybody who needs to love themselves more. Anybody who is feeling lost but doesn't know how to find themselves.

I really enjoyed this book and it helped me a lot so I encourage all of you to check it out.